One piece of advice for divorcing couples seen frequently is try to see things from the perspective of the other side. An extension of that idea that worked well for me was imagining that my ex-spouse was one of our children, and treating him like I would want someone to treat them should they ever be unfortunate enough to be in the same predicament.
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Today was brightened up as I was driving from my early morning swim when Charlotte Green, BBC Radio 4 newsreader, had a fit of giggles after playing a clip of the oldest recording of the human voice. Apparently Charlotte lost control when a studio member remarked Clar de Lune sounded like a "bee buzzing in a bottle" (I thought it sounded like gargling.) Unfortunately, as I have experienced, attacks of the giggles have the tendency to happen at the most inappropriate moments and on this occasion it was during an item about the death of the Hollywood screenwriter Abby Mann. A link to the recording is in this Herald report.
I have little interest in the private lives of the rich and famous and have tried to avoid the saga of McCartney/Mills divorce, but it is proving impossible. The Telegraph reports today Heather Mills has employed forensic accounts to challenge the valuation of Paul McCartney's assets to 'encourage' him to make 'discrete' maintenance payments for their daughter. In the divorce proceedings Paul McCartney claimed his assets were worth £400m, although the Sunday Times Rich List 2007 estimated the value of £825m. This was reminiscent of the Deas divorce reported here in the Scotsman during 2002.
At the time it was alleged in the media that Alex Deas, an entrepreneur, had been worth more than £400m during the mid-nineties and had been included in the Sunday Times Rich List. I remember this couldn't be verified, although I knew in the mid-nineties he had an investment in a technology company that had been valued at $490m. A year or so later the technology bubble burst and the technologies were sold to a Taiwanese company at a much reduced price. Dr Deas share was worth £4.2m. Whether his inclusion in the Sunday Times Rich List was a complete delusion or the figure of £490m was misquoted remains a mystery, but either way I fear the Sunday Times or the Scotsman had not done their homework.
Tom Quail, family law specialist, advises how conveyancers can avoid negligence claims from couples purchasing a matrimonial home in this month's edition of the Law Society of Scotland's Journal. This is because in Scotland assets accrued between the dates of marriage and separation form the matrimonial acquest, but the matrimonial home is treated differently. Someone who contributes personal funds from their pre-matrimonial assets is not guaranteed the investment back.
There are three options to protect an investment:
• Title could be taken in unequal shares.
• A second security could be taken over the property in favour of the husband [or wife].
• A pre-marriage contract or a cohabitation agreement could be signed, recording that the funds being introduced by the husband [or wife] are not matrimonial property.
None of the above are without problems ( the first two do not guarantee recoupment) and there is a conflict of interest in advising both husband and wife, so each party would need to take independent advice. It is suggested the way around that would be for the conveyancer to explain the options; terms of business should be sent to each client individually and these should be signed and returned. Advice is the same for cohabitants as that for a married or civil partnership couple.
Sometimes I am asked which books I found useful when we were divorcing. The first was the Which ? Guide to Divorce which explains in simple terms how divorce works and the financial implications. Although this is primarily aimed at those living in England & Wales there are a couple of pages outlining the differences in Scotland.
The second book, Families and How to Survive Them by Robin Skynner and John Cleese, wasn't particularly related to divorce but it was one I was familiar with from when I worked in mental health. It isn't a new book, although I would say that this definitely is one of the best books on family relationships and child social development for non-professionals. This book isn't pop psychology, the content is very well well-grounded in scientific ideas. It looks at how families influence children and what problems might arise and how to avoid them. Inevitably it includes some humour and funny sketches.
Both books are easily read and were about as much as I could take in at the time.
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