Sunday, October 5, 2008

Parental Angst

Two items in the Sunday papers caught my eye. In the first, "About A Boy", in The Observer writer William Leith reflects on the loneliness and anxiety of being a weekend parent. It is a very moving account that many fathers (and some mothers) will identify with and William obviously finds being apart from his son for three days very difficult. However, I think there needs to be some perspective. Many parents through the nature of their jobs spend days, weeks and even months away from their children but maintain a meaningful relationship with their children. So even with in tact families the quality of contact seems more important rather than quantity.

The second article, "Smother love is just another abuse" in The Sunday Times looks at the issue of smothering and over-fussy parenting. Over indulging or over parenting isn't healthy for children. Smothering is likely when one parent's relationship is intense and very intense relationships are not healthy for children's development. On divorce parents should try to relax and not fear loosing their children. Being away from children can make the relationships less intense but stronger and iIt's good for children to be passed around a bit and spend time with the other parent. To raise well balanced children good enough parenting is required, not perfect parenting.


BFS 06 October, 2008 03:18  

Obviously, I concur with your opinion on the former, given my limited time with all my kids. I'll not be rushing out to buy that book, seems a bit depressing to me.You've summed up the latter pretty accurately for me too.

Fiona 13 October, 2008 15:07  

I think you have the best of both worlds. You can be very involved in the children's care when you are home but going away to work gives you a break and you can appreciate the family more.

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