Getting Married in Style

With a nod to my friend, Simon.

Read more...

Backwards Britain

Interesting comment by Johann Hari today about why the Tories' policy to mend "Britain's broken society" is a backwards step. The policy relies heavily on sociological research findings that children from broken homes or single parent families are more likely to have poor educational and behavioural outcomes than children whose parents stay together. However, a new study by Professor Kelly Musick and Dr Ann Meier of Cornell University into children whose parents stay together in disharmony for the sake of the children has shown the children do worse than any other group. Thus the Tories' policies to keep families together would actually increase the numbers of children in the worst performing category.

At the same time David Cameron is committed to pulling Britain out of the European Social Chapter which means rights for part-time workers will be eroded, leading to lots of stressed out parents having less time to spend with their children. Also the Married Couples Allowance would be a big redistribution of wealth to people who don't need it, paid for by cutting Tax Credits to SureStart to the Educational Maintenance Allowance to the poorest people who do.

Full article Source The Independent 26 June 2009

Read more...

No Marriage, No Divorce

If you are planning an exotic wedding abroad the case of Gillian Hudson is a warning to check the ceremony will be valid. The High Court found that although there was a
religious ceremony in South Africa it had been worded in a way that did not comply with marital laws so Gillian wasn't married. As there was no marriage there could be no divorce or financial claims.


Full story Source The Times

Read more...

Quote of the Day

I couldn't resist this one.

"I knew that we would go as them because Keith looks just like Shrek" - A bride explains why she and the groom dressed as Shrek and Princess Fiona.

Love is indeed a strange thing.

Source BBC News Magazine

Read more...

Social Trends 2009

The annual study into social trends released today by the Office of National Statistics gives an insight into the state of the nation based on factors such as health, wealth, employment, travel patterns, environmental behaviour and the changing nature of British households. Figures in this year’s social trend suggest marriage is becoming increasingly unpopular and a third of men between the age of 20 and 34 live with their parents. Below are the key points relating households and families.


• There were 25.0 million households in Great Britain in Q2 2008, a 4 per cent increase on Q2 2001 when there were 23.9 million.

• Around 10 million dependent children in the UK lived with two parents in the second quarter of 2008, the most common family arrangement. Of these, the majority (8.3 million) lived with married parents.

• In the second quarter of 2008, 1.8 million men in the UK aged 20 to 34 lived with their parents compared with 1.1 million women in the same age group.

• Marriages registered in England and Wales fell by 3.3 per cent in 2007 to 231,450, which is the lowest number of marriages since 1895 (228,204). In Scotland, marriages decreased slightly from 29,898 in 2006 to 29,866 in 2007, while in Northern Ireland marriages increased 5 per cent to 8,687.

• The majority of people who married in the UK in 2006 did so for the first time: around 71 per cent of men and 72 per cent of women.

Full report Source Office of National Statistics 15 April 2009

Read more...

In Support of Marriage

Call me romantic but despite it being 10 years since I separated from my ex husband and having no intentions of remarrying in the near future I am a great believer in marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it just isn't the same thing. The Top Ten Myths of Marriage by Warren R. Shiell of Los Angeles Divorce and Family Law outlines some of the reasons why.

"Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives when they are married. Husbands typically gain greater health benefits while wives gain greater financial advantages"

"Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up."

"..... there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills."

"married people have both more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts. Not only do they have sex more often but they enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally."

"Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits—in physical health, wealth, and emotional wellbeing—that marriage does. In terms of these benefits cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the wellbeing of their partner."

Thanks to John Bolch of Family Lore Focus for providing the link to this post.

Read more...

A Policeman's Lot is Not a Married One

The pressure of fighting crime in the west of Scotland appears to be taking its toll on the love lives of the area's police officers.

Figures reveal that Strathclyde Police has the highest rate of unmarried bobbies of any force in the country. Of the largest force's 7,955 police officers, 4,357 of them are listed as unmarried.

Full story Source The Scotsman 21 March 2009

Read more...

Free to Collect

"Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance - some rust."

This was a story in The Herald about a builder who got so fed up with his wife's nagging that he advertised her in the Free to Collect section of a trade magazine. Apparently at least nine or 10 people replied. His wife Donna said "I don't think I do nag him. He just doesn't do what I want him to, that's all." And they only married last June!

Read more...

Divorces Drop by 25%

Provisional figures from the General Register Office for Scotland today showed the number of couples who divorced in 2008 fell from 12,773 in 2007 to 9,333 last year - a drop of more than a quarter. However, because of the change in the law in 2006, which reduced the separation period for couples who are divorcing there was an increase in the number of divorces in 2006. The number dropping after then and the average number of divorces over 2006 to 2008 was about 11,700 a year, which was in line with the figures before the change in the law.

Marriages dropped from 29,866 in 2007 to 28,903 and the figures also show an increase in births to 60,041, 50.1% to unmarried parents.

Read more...

Fewer Weddings

In typical media style on Thursday The Guardian reported marriage statistics in England & Wales released by the Office of National Statistics as a "crash to all-time low." In fact the drop in the rate for 2007 from to 2006 was 3.3% which I would hardly describe as a crash and one year's figures alone are pretty meaningless. For example, the current economic circumstances might be a factor in couples postponing marriage. Nonetheless in the longer term there has been a significant downward trend, a drop of 34% since 1981.

One possible explanation for the drop according to Joanna Grandfield, barrister, is men may be delaying or shunning marriage altogether because of a perception in England & Wales that wives do really rather too well in divorce now. However, the changes to divorce laws that have brought about this perception are fairly recent and do not explain the trend over the 27 year period. In Scotland family law is arguably less generous to wives and according to General Register Office for Scotland figures there has still been a drop of some 20% in the number of marriages over the same period.

Do men in England & Wales loose out financially on divorce? According to recent research carried out by ISER not as much as women. Even if one gender does loose out I do not believe the risk of repercussions if the relationship fails is the basis upon which most people decide whether to marry or not. Nor should it be.

Read more...

Girl Marries Dog

Reuters carries the strange video of a young girl in Jharkhand, India being married to a dog because there is a superstition that it will overcome any curse put on the family. Before any under employed family lawyers get too excited Reuters say the girl is free to marry a man later without getting a divorce.

Read more...

Forced Marriage Consultation

As I said in my post regarding the introduction of the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland the Scottish Government are launching a consultation to explore whether legislation can add to the protection to those forced into marriage in Scotland. "Whether to marry and to whom should be a decision entered into freely," Communties Minister Stephen Maxwell said. "Forced marriage is a violation of human rights, an infringement of liberty and an abhorrent practice which has no place here in Scotland."

The paper Forced Marriage, A Civil Remedy? is available from the Scottish Government and the consultation is open until 28 March 2009 The freephone line – 0800 141 2759 – will be open from 5 December 2008 until 5 March 2009. The questionnaire is also available online at www.forcedmarriages.org.uk

Thanks to The Journal for the lead.

Read more...

Forced Marriage Law

Yesterday saw the introduction of the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 to prevent forced marriages and protect those who have already fallen victim in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

According to the BBC the new laws mean anyone convicted of trying to force someone into marriage could be jailed for up to two years. A victim, friend or police can apply for a Forced Marriage Protection Order. These court injunctions will forbid families from actions such as taking people abroad for marriage, seizing passports or intimidating victims. Penalties for breaching an order include up to two years' imprisonment.

Ministers in Scotland are due to launch a consultation on whether civil legislation on forced marriage should be introduced here.

Read more...

Post-nuptial Depression

Research based on studies of married couples in California has found around 10 per cent of newly-married women are seeking professional help for reassurance about what they should expect after the excitement of their big day wears off. According to The Telegraph Dr Michelle Gannon, a psychologist, found the newly-wed women struggling to deal with the inevitable rows.

Perhaps in times of personal freedoms young people need to be educated about the realities of relationships and learn how to negotiate to counter the glossy image of marriage portrayed in the media.

Read more...

Bigamy

A former Church of Scotland minister and policeman in Scotland, Roderick Gordon Sangster, was found guilty in his absence of bigamy and forgery at Warwick County Court today.

Sangster married his first wife Frances Richards (now Tait) in 1971 and they had four children. After she discovered he had forged signatures for loans she knew nothing about leaving her heavily in debt they separated.

In 1994 Sangster started a relationship with Jill Jackson, whilst still married to Frances. He divorced Frances and then married Jill. Mr Sangster left Jill in 2002, when she found out she had debts of £32,000.

Within two years he had met and married Janet Wallace, formerly Pollard, whilst still married to Jill Jackson. Sangster told Janet he was divorced and they married in 2004. When he later left for another woman, Patricia Harrison, Janet found she had debts of £55k.

A warrant for Mr Sangsters arrest was issued and Judge Marten Coates adjourned sentencing to give police time to locate him. Prosecutor David Jones said "A pattern emerges that Mr Sangster used to choose ladies who were fairly financially secure, but vulnerable."

So financially secure but vulnerable people, you have been warned!

References: The Leamington Observer and The Telegraph

Read more...

Humanist Marriages

According to The Sunday Scotsman article Boom in marriages not made in heaven the number of Humanist marriage ceremonies has overtaken Scottish Episcopal Church ceremonies for the first time. The Humanist Society Scotland expects the numbers to increase to 1,500 in 2009, bringing the numbers close to the number of Catholic Church of Scotland marriages. Church of Scotland weddings are on the decline and last year the numbers stood at 8,000.

I didn't realise Scotland is the only UK country, and one of only six in the world, where Humanist marriages are legal.

Read more...

Ill Gotten Gains

There is a Court of Appeal case reported in the Independent today where it was ruled that a criminal's wife's assets were not to be confiscated. Three judge's came to the decision that there was no legal principle that allows HMRC to to deprive Marion Gibson of half her share of the value of criminal proceeds her husband must pay back to the state. The concern is that criminals will be able protect their ill gotten gains by sharing it with their wives. Quite.

Read more...

Relate

This year is the 70th anniversary of Relate, formerly known as the Marriage Guidance Council, and the Sunday Times reports today on the opening of it's archives. In 1938 the Marriage Guidance Council formed and the first local branch opened in Slough during 1949. The article focuses on the notes kept by a male voluntary marriage guidance counsellor, Mr Wallis, and the development of the organisation and professionalism within it. The notes record the acceptance of domestic violence, the domineering mother-in-law, and the tolerance of some men towards their wives' affairs. In one case there is further acrimony when the family cat eats a husband’s hamster!

In the early days the emphasis of the MGC was on guidance to preserve marriages although today Relate supports people through separation and divorce. Not only is couple counselling on offer but also services for individuals, children, family counselling, mediation and sex therapy. I have added Relate Scotland to my resources links. Peter Bell, Relates current head of practice points out “Sometimes, through counselling, they come to the realisation that the emotional cost of breaking up is greater than the price of staying together.” Interestingly he also comments that in the last 10 years there have been a lot of men finding sex unrewarding. He adds "Male confidence, as the gender who knew how to have sex – always an illusion – has been blown."

Some food for thought, the article ends with the Rules for Marriage by the Rev Louis A Ewart, founding member Marriage Guidance Council;-

1) Always tell the truth
2) Love, goodwill, wisdom and understanding are absolutely required
3) A sense of humour is quite necessary
4) Respect each other and each other’s desire for privacy
5) Be tolerant — outward appearances are often deceptive
6) Be patient; it is foolish to fuss about small things
7) Never let the sun set on your anger, no matter what may happen during the day; never forget the goodnight kiss
8) Avoid self-consciousness and false pride. Both are stumbling blocks on the road to married happiness
9) Remember that marriage is a game that must be played on a 50-50 basis; in other words, give and take, bear and forbear
10) Always be companionable and do not forget to smile — this is of vital importance

Read more...

Purchasing a Marital Home

Tom Quail, family law specialist, advises how conveyancers can avoid negligence claims from couples purchasing a matrimonial home in this month's edition of the Law Society of Scotland's Journal. This is because in Scotland assets accrued between the dates of marriage and separation form the matrimonial acquest, but the matrimonial home is treated differently. Someone who contributes personal funds from their pre-matrimonial assets is not guaranteed the investment back.

There are three options to protect an investment:

• Title could be taken in unequal shares.

• A second security could be taken over the property in favour of the husband [or wife].

• A pre-marriage contract or a cohabitation agreement could be signed, recording that the funds being introduced by the husband [or wife] are not matrimonial property.

None of the above are without problems ( the first two do not guarantee recoupment) and there is a conflict of interest in advising both husband and wife, so each party would need to take independent advice. It is suggested the way around that would be for the conveyancer to explain the options; terms of business should be sent to each client individually and these should be signed and returned. Advice is the same for cohabitants as that for a married or civil partnership couple.

Read more...

Resignation?

Rowan Williamson, Archbishop of Canterbury proposing the adoption of some elements of Sharia law in the UK features heavily in the news today. He said "There are ways of looking at marital disputes, for example, which provide an alternative to the divorce courts as we understand them. In some cultural and religious settings, they would seem more appropriate." Yer, rite as they say around here.

Under Sharia law there is discrimination against women because of patriarchal and cultural control in their communities. Some Muslim women in the West are worried about protection of their rights in Sharia courts. Running the two systems of law alongside each other would be a recipe for disaster and perhaps, unsurprisingly, there are now calls for the Archbishop's resignation.

Spiegel thinks the Archbishop is mistaken in thinking society is like a factory canteen which offers choices between meat and vegetarian menus. It accuses him as being naieve and his suggestion no more than preventative capitulation to a tricky problem. As some immigrants are not willing or unable to adapt to the rules of society, society would be adapting to the rules of the immigrants. (I've not transulated that well, but you get the gist.)

The Archbishop is known to be obscure. One commentator couldn't describe a lecture by the Archbishop as he said it was so ambiguous he didn't know when to heckle. Family Law Week blog illustrates this with the quote "I have been arguing that a defence of an unqualified secular legal monopoly in terms of the need for a universalist doctrine of human right or dignity is to misunderstand the circumstances in which that doctrine emerged, and that the essential liberating (and religiously informed) vision it represents is not imperilled by a loosening of the monopolistic framework."

Typical Glaswegian comments from the Herald readership;

"Who is the Archbishop of Canterbury anyway?
Is he in a rock band?
or does he jist wish he wis?"

"Being a Jedi, I fully support the introduction of Jedi Law..."

"Off with his head!"

Read more...